When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the cruelest curse to wish upon a single guy?

I wish his hands were made of stone."

Why did Helen Keller mastutbate with one hand?

So she could moan with the other.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Where r my legal briefs?

Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why do the English always carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk

How do you convert Spanish programming into English?

Yes++

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Where did the English teacher and the student fight?

in the MLA boxing ring

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What is the longest sentence that a man can make?

I do.