When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court?

Bay leaf get him out if here!

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany?

It was x-axis

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's the difference between an English pig and a French pig?

A French pig goes, "Oui! Oui! Oui!" all the way home.

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.

Why do pens get sent to prison ?

To do long sentences !