Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

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Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What can I do about it?

Hire yourself out for Halloween parties.

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Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles?

Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11.

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What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?

Tom Cruise

Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.