How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why doesn't Bono like Google?

He still hasn't found what he's looking for.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

Whats got wrinkles and hangs out your undies?

Your granny

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

How do you get a job with Apple?

Be born in China.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How'd the monkey fall out of the tree. He was dead. How'd the next second monkey fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first monkey! How'd the Third monkey fall out of the tree. Peer Pressure.

What do blacks and apples have in common?

If they're not being sold on a farm they're hanging from a tree. Da ho, no I didnt.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a teenage boy?

One is a master debater. The other is a masterbater.