How are lawyers and apples similar?

They both look good hanging from a tree

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between an introverted mathematician and an extroverted mathematician?

The extrovert looks at the other person's shoes.

Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?

All of those guys already have boyfriends.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

What did one Christmas ornament say to the other Christmas ornament?

Let's hang.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What lives in apples and is an avid reader?

A bookworm !

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What famous person is a huge fan of trees?

Tim ber"ton

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How many judges does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one he holds it still and the whole world revolves around him. Just one but two lawyers have to explain him how to do it.

What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?

The rooster's primal urge is to cluck defiance.