What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple !

What do you call Apple's next beauty product?

The iLiner.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's the difference between a Scottish guy and Mick Jagger?

One says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" The other says "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What is the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

One says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!". The other says "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!".

Mac Jokes More Mac Jokes

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.