Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

iDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What's the difference between an apple and a hormone?

You can't hear an apple

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

Pc Jokes More Pc Jokes

Why couldn't the alligator send e-mails on his PC?

Because it was on old croc.

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

Dubstep Jokes More Dubstep Jokes

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

What do you call fapping to dubstep?

Wubbing one out.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

What do you call people who use the "pull out" method for contraception?

Parents.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do dogs run in circles?

Because it's harder to run in squares.

Why did the ram run off the cliff?

He didn't see the ewe turn.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between George Washington and Nicki Minaj?

Nicki Minaj never owned slaves.(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Gr1p4KtgOXc)

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Xbox?

They're both made of plastic, and little kids turn them on.

Scottish Jokes More Scottish Jokes

What's big, Scottish and depressing?

Scotland

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

What color were Kurt Cobaine's eyes?

Blue. One blue one way and one blue the other way.

Why can't moccasins play the blues?

They've got no sole.