Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

iDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Adele Jokes More Adele Jokes

Who's Microsoft's favorite musician?

Adele

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What kind of computer is optimized for sad songs?

A Dell.

Why did the computer get a virus?

He wasn't using protection.

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

How do you tell if someone online is American?

They keep their caps locked and guns loaded. (Not the best and not original)

Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed?

A: Depressed.

How do depressed people lighten' up?

They drink bleach.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why did Microsoft name their new operating system Windows 10?

Because Windows 7 8 9!

Why did the man throw his watch out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

Program Jokes More Program Jokes

Why is ISIS going after programs?

Because they are executable

What do Hutts use to program computers?

JabbaScript

Prison Guard Jokes More Prison Guard Jokes

Why do prison guards use Proactive?

To prevent further breakouts.

What did the cat say to the prison guard?

Let MEOOWWWWTTTT!!!!

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

What color were Kurt Cobaine's eyes?

Blue. One blue one way and one blue the other way.

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.