Mac Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

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Why did Eric Clapton switch from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with windows.

Why do Mac users have such high electricity bills, but low gas bills?

They don't have windows.

Why can't a Mac sing?

Because it's not Adele

How do Jedis close their programs on a Mac?

They use Force quit.

What do you call Dubstep on a Mac?

iDropIt

What's the Difference Between Steve Jobs and Bill Gates?

Bill Gates never got a Mac, but Steve Jobs got PC.

How is a Mac like a Queen's guard?

They're both run by Unix.

What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called?

I, Mac.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

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Why do white girls like Apple?

Because once go Mac you never go back.

What's a Scottish cannibal's favorite food?

Mac in cheese

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

Why did Eric Clapton move from PC to Mac?

He had a bad experience with Windows

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Depress Jokes More Depress Jokes

Why was the calendar depressed?

His days were numbered.

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

Mac Os X Jokes More Mac Os X Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

What do you get when you have Windows and Mac OS X dual booting from the same computer?

A co-operating system.

Blue Jokes More Blue Jokes

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could?

He wanted to harm monica.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What do black people and apples have in common?

They both look better hanging.

Why are Apple products popular with hipsters?

Steve Jobs went underground.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Why arent the americans playing chess?

they are missing two towers.

What do miss Frizzle and the catholic church have in common?

They've both been in little boys.

Jedi Jokes More Jedi Jokes

What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus?

Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What is it like to mod r/news?

This thread has been locked. You will unable to vote or comment.

What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood?

Going inside to ask for a coat hanger.

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

Why are ugly guys better with computers then women?

Turning off a computer often fixes the problem.

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.