Why did the storm trooper buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

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How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

When you gonna be famous?

I tell her, 'As soon as they find the bodies.'

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Where do you buy a Walrus?

WalMart!

Why do people buy fruit already cut up?

There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.