How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

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What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

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What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!