Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

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Door Jokes More Door Jokes

When is a strange dog most likely to go into your house?

A: When the door is open.

How do you make a door hold water?

You open it slightly so it's ajar.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

Why doesn't an old man ever go down on his old wife?

Ever opened a grilled-cheese sandwich?

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why is Sigma good at sharing?

Because he only ever takes sum of the numbers!

How many grains of sand are there in the world?

As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance?

A Fairodactyl