What's your emergency, sir?

Me: I'm being taken away by ducks! I'm being- 911: Please don't do this, sir M: AbDUCKted! 911: *hangs up*

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Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the racist surfer say when asked about hanging a black man?

Hang ten dude!!

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your grandma.

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What is the difference between 9/11 and landscaping?

Landscaping is an outside job.

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why do ducks have webbed feet ?

To stamp out forest fires !

What does a duck and a bicycle have in common?

They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

Which positions does a violist use?

A: First third and emergency.

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.