Why couldn't the guy with insomnia have an affair with anyone's wife?

Because he couldn't sleep with anyone.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

How many wife's does a catholic priest allowed to have?

Nun

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."

Why don't women sleep on the left side of the bed?

Because they always want to be right.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy from China who is confused?

Disoriented.

Why doesn't the guy with OCD ever get laid?

Because when he turns his girlfriend on he has to turn her off again three times.

Insomnia Jokes More Insomnia Jokes

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

Affair Jokes More Affair Jokes

Why did Mary Magdalene have an affair with Jesus?

She heard about his second coming

What do they call an affair with a psychiatrist?

A psychiatric tryst.