Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How can you go without sleep for seven days and not be tired?

Sleep at night

What did the rubber ball say when he left the yo-yo's late night house party?

You better get some sleep - I'm gonna bounce!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Why did the 3 men go in to the bar?

To get drunk

What's the difference between a barrel rider, and a can of Copenhagen?

You can only fit 3 fingers in a can of Copenhagen.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

Why are friendzone'd guys always sick?

They suffer from m'ladies

Moment Jokes More Moment Jokes

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

Insomnia Jokes More Insomnia Jokes

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.