Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are British anti-smoking PSA's often made by homophobes?

Because they want to prevent people from bumming fags

Why was the manipulative ghost so unsuccessful?

People could see right through him.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's a meth head's favourite thing about Halloween?

Only two more sleeps till Christmas!

How many ladies have you slept with?

she said. I said, "Do you want me to round it to the nearest 10 " She raised her eyebrows and said, "OK..." I said, "Zero."

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

Why couldn't the 3 speed mixer get auto insurance?

He was high whisk.

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures?

Narcolepsy

Moment Jokes More Moment Jokes

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

Insomnia Jokes More Insomnia Jokes

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night?

He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.