How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How strict is the "I licked it, it's mine" policy?

There's some things I've licked that I don't want.

Why did the blonde call the welfare office?

She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college?

Bison

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why does everyone start to fight the day after Christmas?

Because it's Boxing Day!

What did Piotr get for christmas?

Your iPod!

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What's the best part about getting head from an infant?

Watching the soft spot move.

Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?

When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

Snack Jokes More Snack Jokes

Where do Jihadists get their snacks?

At the Allah hu snackbar.

What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?

Snacks that go crunch in the night.

M&M Jokes More M&M Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's?

Because they fall through his hands.

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's