What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

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Why did the vegetables invite the mushroom to their party?

They heard he was a fungi

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

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Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field?

Because, corn has ears!

What kind of ears do trains have?

Engineers (engine ears).

Cotton Wool Jokes More Cotton Wool Jokes

What do you call a huge ugly slobbering furry monster with cotton wool in his ears?

Anything you like he can't hear you.

Why have you got cotton wool in your ears do you have an infection ?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!