Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.
Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant
His mother told him to hit the hay.
Your mom.
Mom & Dad
Because I got eye lashes.
A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.
They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.
Because little boys can't get pregnant.
He brexit.
A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.
Log jam.
Piece of cake.
Nobody. The pigs all jump in.