Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Who pushed the neonate out an endometrium?

Your mom.

What do Bernie Sanders supporters call their roommates?

Mom &amp Dad

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do my eyes hurt?

Because I got eye lashes.

How can you identify an Irish pirate?

A: He's the one with patches over both eyes.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

Why don't catholic priest believe in condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

Promise Jokes More Promise Jokes

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

Sugar Jokes More Sugar Jokes

What do you get when you boil tree trunks with sugar?

Log jam.

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

When pigs have a party who jumps out of the cake?

Nobody. The pigs all jump in.