Promise Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

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What do you call a promise you can't keep?

A campaign promise.

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

What did the CN tower say to the clouds???

Only the tip baby, I promise!

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

i actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one more guys I promise.

Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

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Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

What do you call a black guy who reneges on a promise?

Unreliable, you racist prick.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."

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By November, they will have both picked their poison.

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The girl in church has her soul full of hope...

How do you hit those high notes?

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Where's your better half?

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What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

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What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest?

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What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts?

He dislikes poles polls How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words It hard :(