November Jokes

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

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Why can't Sean Connery read November?

Because he hasn't Read October.

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie?

Whoever wins...we lose.

How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

November.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Dragonball Z characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but it takes three episodes.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You hold the lightbulb and every politician screws you!

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many population geneticists does it take to change a light bulb?

It's independent of population size.

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

Poison Jokes More Poison Jokes

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

How do chemists poison each other?

With a Pb & J sandwich

Orangutan Jokes More Orangutan Jokes

What do you call an orang-utan which has been in the sun for too long?

An OranguTAN!

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did Spock find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

What do you use to find Greek restaurants?

A gyroscope.

Socrate Jokes More Socrate Jokes

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

What gym did Socrates go to?

The Y.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me !

Promise Jokes More Promise Jokes

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.