Why do you smell like weed?

Me: How do you know what weed smells like ! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him?

I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people......

What's your best mattress joke?

Trying to win a new mattress in a contest and I need a clean mattress joke to win (dumb, I know)

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

Why do Vampires make poor project managers?

Because the refuse you to meet with stake holders. (why yes, I am a dad why do you ask )

What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am?

It's your dad.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What smells bad and sounds like a bell?

Dung! Get it?!

What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How the hell would she know?

We only met last week!

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

How is medusa like weed?

She makes people stoned.

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock?

Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

How much electricity is in the ground?

1 Terrahertz

Bust Jokes More Bust Jokes

What would you call a Street Fighter player who can bust out the Spinning Pile Driver really fast?

SPD Gonzales.

Why did the cop pull over the U-Haul truck?

He was trying to bust a move