Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you get a woman from to be, to bed?

Give her the D.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheeeeeettttt!

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

What's the difference between a van and a minivan?

A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

How Many Running Backs Does It Take To Turn On A Light?

Two. One to find the switch...the other to hit it.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

How much credibility is there in that whole "you can punch yourself handsome" theory?

Asking for a friend.

Why didnt the asian block a punch coming to his face?

He couldn't see it coming

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What's the difference between a brothel and a circus?

Your mother never ran away to join the circus.

Why do Italian men grow moustaches?

They want to look like their mothers.

Hay Jokes More Hay Jokes

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What do you call a bundle of hay in a church?

Christian Bale.