Hay Jokes

What did the scarecrow say when asked about his job?

This job isn't for everyone, but hay...it's in my jeans"

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What do you call a bundle of hay in a church?

Christian Bale.

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

What did the cow say to the hay?

I chews you

Why is hay so unreliable?

It keeps baleing

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?

He wanted her to hit the hay!

Who's there ! Bullet ! Bullet who ?

Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry !

Why are round bales of hay illegal?

Because cows can't get a square meal.

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What did the city worker say after his first ever pony trek?

I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard!

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What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone?

Hay!"

What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch?

Moo Mitch, get out the hay

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

What does an Italian cow say when he gets an extra delivery of hay to the barn?

That's amorehay!

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Bale Jokes More Bale Jokes

Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

Why was the Hay Robber's prison sentence cut short?

He got out on bale.

Square Meal Jokes More Square Meal Jokes

Why did they stop feeding cows the round bails of Hay in Texas?

Because they weren't getting a square meal.

Why are round bales of hay illegal?

Because cows can't get a square meal.

Nightmare Jokes More Nightmare Jokes

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

What is dark, invades you in your sleep, and starts with N-I-G?

Nightmares you racist.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common?

They're both Catholics.

How many catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?

CHANGE !

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon?

Because he's a Wino-saur!

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?

He was already taking out a tooth

How many wiseguys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Who's asking

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

Why do drummers carry transparent lunchboxes?

So they know if they are going to the gig, or coming from it. Ta-boom!