What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common?

They're both Catholics.

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How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change.

What is the Catholic Church giving up for Lent?

Answer: The Pope!

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What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store.

What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.