What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common?

They're both Catholics.

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Why did the Papal Palace fill up with kittens?

Because the Pope was a cat-holic. Eh Eh

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

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How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb None, Lutherans don't change.