What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why was the hipster drinking milk?

He liked Ice Cream before it was cool

What did the Scotsman say when he went for another drink?

Hey, where'd my Glascow "

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How could that have happened ?

I can't understand it either because I planted cabbage !

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

A: He gets Tenyear.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you do when you see your wife stumbling around in the backyard?

Shoot her again.

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why does Jesus and bartenders have so much in common?

Bcoz they are single, have no kids, got nailed and serve alcoholic beverage.

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

What did the tool box say to the hammer?

Toolsie!

What did the hammer say to the drill?

You're too boring.

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top