What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee?

Cause they hate the French press

Why did the man open a rooftop bar?

He wanted to have drinks on the house.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave?

It's Bill Withers.

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.

What did you get me for Mother's Day?

3-year-old: A cake. Wife: Where is it 3: You haven't made it yet.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What is a carpenters dream girl?

What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

What do Jesus and Muhammad have in common?

They both nailed a 2x4.

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?

Because you said it was pound cake!

What did the tool box say to the hammer?

Toolsie!

Carpenter Jokes More Carpenter Jokes

How can you tell if a carpenter is happy?

Check his spirit level.

What does a crappy Carpenter make?

Loose stools