What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a religion and a cult?

A religion drinks wine and a cult drinks Kool-Aid.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What is small, crying and cannot get under the table?

A child with pitchfork in his back

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the difference between the Polish and polish?

No one bats an eye if you use chemicals to remove polish, but if you use chemicals to remove the Polish, most of the world will turn against you

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children?

1%

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?

Nothing, you've already told her.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

New Recruit: Call for backup!

What do you call a Hispanic woman with no legs?

Consuelo! My mother told me this one

Continue Jokes More Continue Jokes

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

Why do mathematicians only count up to 287?

Because if they count one more it would be 2gross to continue.

Ensure Jokes More Ensure Jokes

What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

Ralph Neighder!

Whose excercises will ensure that you will never win a fitness award?

Leonardo Di Cardio