Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the snowman leave his wife?

Because she got plowed by another man.

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

What's your dad do?

Kid: My dad He's an actor Me: Why Couldn't you get a real dad

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Why are all those people running?

A: Why are all those people running B: They are running a race to get a cup. A: Who will get the cup B: The person who wins. A: Then why are all the others running

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Who's there ! Cameron ! Cameron who ?

Cameron film are needed to take pictures !

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

Q. They think their picture is being taken.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?

Between the two of us we can make a lot of money.

What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency?

Life insurance policies.

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

How do you make a sports science major cry?

Remind them that high school is over.

Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's?

A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you?

What's in your wallet?