Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

How did Spartacus feel about going down on his wife?

He was gladiator

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why can't Caitlyn Jenner lie to her kids?

She's a transparent.

What was Justin Timberlake called when he was a kid?

Justin Timberpuddle!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where did people find out that Pluto was no longer a planet?

The orbituaries.

Why are people at Star Wars conventions so happy?

Because of the Endor-fans.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

What kind of pictures does a mermaid take on her phone?

Shelfies.

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What's one thing Lance Armstrong can still make money from?

LIESTRONG bracelets.

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

What man?

The man with the power." - "What power " - "The power of Hoodoo." - "Who do " - "You do." - "Do what " - "Remind me of a man."

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....