What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do wives and shingles have in common?

if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's.

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm