Wallet Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you?

What's in your wallet?

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Why do wallets make so much noise?

Because money talks.

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

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What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.

What is an Italian mobster's favorite cooking oil?

Cannoli Oil.

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What do you call a nun that works for your company?

Nun of your business.

What's the difference between a rhinoceros and a mattababy?

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How did he get so rich?

By saving the gas money!

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

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Why did Nike release a vine of the "Back to the Future" Power Lace shoes??

Because the pictures were way to shaky......

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed

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How long are you supposed to wait to return a boy's call?

This IRS guy sounded pretty into me

How many photos of Kanye West do you suppose Kanye West has on his phone?

More than 1,000

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What did dela wear?

Delaware) A. Her New Jersey

Where did the team get there uniforms?

New Jersey

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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...

Why did the Aggie take a golf club and a baseball glove storm chasing with him?

To golf the golf ball size hail and catch the baseball size hail

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you know if a woman is hot for you?

When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse.

Why don't you just tell her how you feel?

Well, alright." "Girl, I feel with my nerves."