Wallet Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

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Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

What does Samuel Jackson say when he is mugging you?

What's in your wallet?

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

Why do wallets make so much noise?

Because money talks.

How long are you supposed to chase someone after your wallet gets stolen?

Because I'm tired of running and he's catching up....

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

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