How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do they have fences around a cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the pimp's garden dry up and die?

Because all of his hose had kinks.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why was the wife worried that her husband was a light drinker?

Every night, he'd go out and drink until it was light.

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Remarry Jokes More Remarry Jokes

How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?

Remarry