Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man turn on the lights in a depression clinic?

He wanted to lighten the mood in such a dim atmosphere.

Why did the bees go on strike ?

Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What is cleverer than a talking cat ?

A spelling bee !

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

A: Miscarriage This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Why did the baby have such a poor time in the marathon?

He was running a little behind

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream?

She was wearing mittens.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

What do all dogs get with their phones?

Collar ID

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.