Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

Why do SJWs hate dentists?

Because they want to make teeth straight and white.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee.

How do pigs talk?

Swine language

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between sandpaper and a baby?

The sandpaper doesn't scream when I rub it's face on wood.

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

Why can't your children be like my office voice mail?

Seen but not heard

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why did I throw my phone out of my window?

Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane...

How does a cheerleader answer the phone?

H-E-L-L-O!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did the husband tell his wife to do after he slapped her?

The same thing he told her the first time!

How do I look?

I just came back from the beauty salon.... Husband - Well. Was it closed