Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Where will the 400 pound gorilla sleep?

Wherever it wants to. R.I.P. Harambe

How are babies and strippers alike?

They're fun to play with but I wouldn't want to take one home

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Why do Italians carry slices of turd in their wallets?

For identification.

Monet Jokes More Monet Jokes

Who is the richest painter ever?

Monet.

Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre?

Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh.