Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why is Apple donating money to cancer research?

Cancer stole our jobs!"

Why didn't the lawyer monkey make any money?

Because he did all his work pro bonobo

Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.