Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Why do gangsters save so much money on clothes?

Cause all their pants are half-off

Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant?

Fetus deletus

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.