Gain Jokes

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

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What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

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What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

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Armed Force Jokes More Armed Force Jokes

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

What is the most noble office supply?

The ruler!

Why do we call rulers "Your Highness"?

because that's what they measure.

Frenchman Jokes More Frenchman Jokes

What do you call ten Frenchmen who stand in front of their goalie for 90 minutes?

Dix.

Why was the Frenchmen racist?

Because he was a bigette.

Wreck Jokes More Wreck Jokes

Why don't Germans play games with new players?

Because they don't want to wreck Danubes.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

When Bruce decides to do stand-up, what will his stage-name be?

Penny Bruce

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

Why do donuts have holes in the center?

Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.

How many of you guys experienced this?

Damn! I don't have spare keys either.

Wreck Ball Jokes More Wreck Ball Jokes

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Player Jokes More Player Jokes

What was the end scored?

Player: "1:1"

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown