How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Whats the most essential part of telling a joke about terrorism?

an explosive punchline

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

Clothe Jokes More Clothe Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Why are paraplegics bad project teammates?

They never carry their own weight.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox?

How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox? Tell them it floats!

How do you fit an elephant in to a subway?

Take the 's' out of "sub" and the 'f' out of "way"

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.