Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Previous Random Joke Next
Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What is Santa's favorite band?

Slayer.

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels?

Because the cons outweighed the prose.

What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

Why are paraplegics bad project teammates?

They never carry their own weight.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

Why should I hire you?

Because I have pictures of you with a goat "

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

What is teen pop?

Jared's favorite music genre.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.