Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

Who corrects Santa's grammar?

A subordinate Clause.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian?

Cuz they got tired of Stalin.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

How do u know if a company that just hired you conducts drug tests?

What is the likelihood it will be a hairtest

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

Why did Subway take Jared so seriously?

It was obvious he was kidding.

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!