How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

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What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

How is a redneck divorce like a hurricane in Florida?

Either way you lose the trailer!

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Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

Why did Jared lose so much weight?

He always went for the 6 instead of the 12

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Why does the prosecutor only choose jurors who drive Hummers?

So that there's no chance of a hung jury

What did you choose?

Guy: I don't remember.

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What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.