How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

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Why did the marijuana addict lose the race?

He was running on fumes.

What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

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Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.

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What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?

A brother, because you can choose your friends.

What is my girlfriend's favorite meal?

A dish called: "I don't know, you choose."

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How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer