What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's an old carpenter's biggest issue?

Losing teeth.

Why was the juice company losing customers?

There was no punch-line.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

What material does Cayde-6 use to repair his armor after falling feet first into hell?

Nathan Filaments ( ) X-Post from /r/DestinyTheGame

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What do me and Subway have in common?

12 inches

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

Exercise Jokes More Exercise Jokes

What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?

Diddly squat

What do you call a gunman who exercises?

An active shooter!

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Track Jokes More Track Jokes

Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms?

Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen.

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

200 Pound Jokes More 200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

Why does all of Jared Fogle's music sound the same?

Because he loves to abuse A Minor.

What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?"