200 Pound Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?

About 200 pounds.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

A: Because red means stop.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What do you call a spoiled girl blogging about her 1st world problems?

A feminist.

Why is it good to post jokes about feminists?

It promotes equality.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs!

What do you call Michael Buble's long lost evil twin brother?

Pu-pu puble

Device Jokes More Device Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear?

Camembert!

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

Jared Fogle Jokes More Jared Fogle Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

because he chose from the kids menu

Credit Card Jokes More Credit Card Jokes

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Tony Abbott and a coffee machine?

One is a cold heartless machine, used by everyone... ...And the other is useful with a Cafe. Gnite folks!

What is the difference between a doorknob and a Zika baby's head?

When you twist the doorknob it doesn't scream.