Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Where's my credit card?

Son of a..

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ?

Take away it's credit cards !

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer?

He's already got a Thor Axe.

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

Why is it hard for men to understand women?

Because you have to study abroad to understand them.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between an art student and a philosophy student?

A philosophy student asks you you want fries with that

What did Larry McMurtry say when his neighbor asked to borrow a bar of soap?

He said "Sure! I could loan some Dove".

Report Jokes More Report Jokes

What do you call a hollow dachshund?

Holloween. (*Please don't report me)

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

We just report the facts we don't change them."

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar?

I Expectsum Patronum

Dangerous Weapon Jokes More Dangerous Weapon Jokes

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.

Gas Jokes More Gas Jokes

Where does the dentist get his gas?

At the filling station

Why couldn't the Germans make a good vacuum chamber?

There was too much gas in them.

Anakin Jokes More Anakin Jokes

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.