Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Where's my credit card?

Son of a..

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ?

Take away it's credit cards !

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

You might also enjoy:

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Cable Jokes More Cable Jokes

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged?

Mentally dis-cabled.

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch?

Namaste.

Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?

He was way to high, man.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped."

What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

I have a cream.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

What do you call 4 Mexicans in a boat with a terrible leak?

Cuatro sinko

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

What was Santa's christmas-present for the kid with no hands?

new gloves for the cold days

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How can you make money fast?

Glue it to the floor.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.