Credit Card Jokes

How do you stop a 200 pound hamster from charging?

Take away it's credit cards.

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What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How do you stop an angry rhino from charging?

You take away its credit card

What's 3 inches long and pleases all women?

A credit card.

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

Where's my credit card?

Son of a..

Which 4?

Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card.

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

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How do you stop a charging bull?

Take away its credit card!*** wa-waa-waaaa! Skip

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ?

Take away it's credit cards !

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

What's the easiest way to end a friendship?

Just asking for a friend

Report Jokes More Report Jokes

Why didn't the man report his credit card stolen?

Because the thief was spending less than his wife.

How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding?

Mon, soon."

Czech Republic Jokes More Czech Republic Jokes

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

How does an international banker have a good Friday night?

He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks.

Soap Jokes More Soap Jokes

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

I put soap and water in there every day...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Why didn't the doctor use Twitter to tell the patient that he had a deadly disease?

Because the condition was untweetable.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call an Italian with no hands?

Mute

What did Mitt Romney say to C3P0?

Threepio, hand me those binders, willya

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

You can silence a gun.

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!