What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the problem with your marriage?

WIFE: He replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

50 pounds.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

What did the one eyed thief, with a hook for a hand, call the elven princess?

Arrrrrrr-wen

Credit Card Jokes More Credit Card Jokes

How will Santa get in?

Me: Probably through my credit card. 5: what Me: what

What do you do if your in the way of stampeding cows?

Take away their credit cards so they can't charge

Dangerous Weapon Jokes More Dangerous Weapon Jokes

What's the most dangerous weapon your wife can get her hands on?

Your credit card.

How many Anti-Vaxxers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

As a mother, I choose not to screw it in. Light bulbs are dangerous weapons created by the Soviet Union, and I will not screw it in; it could severely hurt my child. As everyone knows, light bulbs are the principle source of autism in this world, and I have to take a stand on it.