How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Jose push his wife off the cliff?

Tequila...

What Did The Dying Gambler Say To His Wife?

10 bucks says I don't need this oxygen tank"

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many liberals does it take to defend America?

Nobody knows, they've never tried.

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

What do you give an octomom for mother's day?

A spatula. Maybe she'll be more responsible making dinner than making babies.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon?

Put a sock in it.

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

Neighbor Cat Jokes More Neighbor Cat Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Why was the neighbor's cat afraid of me?

Because I ran over it with my car.

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce