Sock Jokes

How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag?

She's only wearing one sock.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between the Earth and my sock?

The Earth's crust is on the outside.

Why don't bears wear socks?

They have bear feet

Why did the Golfer feel aladeen about his socks ?

He had a hole in one.

Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks?

They get a hole in one!

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What's white and washes your socks?

Your wife.

What's long and hard?

The sock under my bed.

Why do you think people hate us so much?

Idk. I blame the idiots who wear us with socks."

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why did the ghoul knit herself three socks?

A: Because she grew another foot.

What kind of socks do you find in your backyard?

Garden hose.

What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why did the golfer need to buy a new pair of socks?

Because he got a hole in one!

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

What is the difference between a camera and a sock?

One holds photos The other holds five

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Why did the seamen cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

What sock do you put on last?

The one that's left.

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*

What is long, hard and full of sperm ?

The sock under my bed.

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit

What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?

Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.

What do you tell a girl who won't stop asking for a tampon?

Put a sock in it.

How do you spell socks in Spanish?

Eso si que es.

Who won the Battle of the Bulge?

The guy with the bulge in his sock ...

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

What's the difference between a podiatrist and a drummer?

The podiatrist bucks up your feet.

Lewis Jokes More Lewis Jokes

What did Lewis and Clark only have one sack of on their expedition?

Jawea

Who made Lewis and Clark's footwear?

Sock-a-gawea.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband?

I'm sorry but I love another Juan.

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

Wrong Sock Jokes More Wrong Sock Jokes

Why did my sperm cross the road?

Because my wife wore the wrong socks.

Why'd the seaman cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong sock that day.

Golfer Jokes More Golfer Jokes

What do you call it when a golfer misses the hole?

Fore-play

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?

Outside Jokes More Outside Jokes

What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ?

An elephant disguised as a banana !

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Jeep?

With the hedgehog the pricks can be seen on the outside and with a Jeep the prick can be seen on the inside.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

What do you call it when you finger a pony?

Feeling a little horse.