What's long and hard?

The sock under my bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What's white and washes your socks?

Your wife.

Who the hell does that in a sock?

squishes out of the room*