What is long, hard and full of sperm ?

The sock under my bed.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a pair of socks?

Gee, you knit

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

Sperm Jokes More Sperm Jokes

What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

1 in 50 million has a chance of becoming a human being.

What do you call the first sperm that reaches the egg?

The ova achiever