What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the clown go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling a little funny. He had testicular cancer.

What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?

Deja phew!

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What does a racist drink to wake himself up every morning?

A KKK-Cup!

What's updog?

Mom: Just waking you up for school, dog, what's up wit u Dad (from hallway): OWNED

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone?

Two days seems like a long time.

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.