What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?

Because he is lying.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

We don't know she hasn't opened her presents yet.

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What was Hamlet screaming when running around a circle ?

2(pi)r or not 2(pi)r....(snicker)

When do ghosts usually appear?

Just before someone screams.

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

Why do men like love at first sight?

Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK