What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight?

The sock under my bed.

This joke may have profanity.
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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do you say that?

Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls who use Tumblr work so many odd jobs?

Because they literally can't even.

What do you call a girl who plays tennis on her knees?

Courtney.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?

Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* "Oh."

Sock Jokes More Sock Jokes

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

Sight Jokes More Sight Jokes

Why do men like love at first sight?

Because he knows it's all over as soon as she opens her mouth.

What did the police officer say to the zoo keeper?

Yeah I get it, I shoot monkeys on sight too.