Golf Course Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

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What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

How are 6 women like a golf course?

NSFW 18 holes

This joke may have profanity.

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Hunt Jokes More Hunt Jokes

What did the predators say before they went hunting?

Let us prey first.

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

Let us prey.

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep?

ANSWER: Because he's afraid someone would look through the keyhole.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?

A.) Because red means Stop.

Green Jokes More Green Jokes

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's hotter, green or red peppers?

Green "Nope. Green."

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

How do you know if someone has run a marathon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Tiger Woods Jokes More Tiger Woods Jokes

What is the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?

One of them has a good driver.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a better driver!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why can't redheads get drunk?

Because they only drink Ginger Ale.

Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.