Golf Course Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

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What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

How are 6 women like a golf course?

NSFW 18 holes

This joke may have profanity.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why does the swimming pool get laid every night?

Because he makes all the ladies wet.

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!"

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

What does a terrorist tell hes son?

Aim to the sky, maybe you'll shoot a plane.

Hunt Jokes More Hunt Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to hunt the US national bird?

It's ill-eagle

Why did Clemson choose orange as its team color?

So they could play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up garbage the rest of the week.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why do elephants hide behind trees?

To trip ants.

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is the philosophy of a necrophiliac?

Sit back, relax and crack open a cold one

What do you call it when you sit on a high chair to see if you want to buy it?

A stool sample.

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What's the difference between your mom and my computer?

I can still turn your mom on.

What's the difference between an alpaca and your Mom?

One is a hairy beast that spits, the other is native to South America.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why shouldn't you post to Reddit while driving?

becau