Golf Course Jokes

How do you cover 18 holes with one hole?

Have your mom sit down on a golf course.

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What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

Why did Tiger Woods stop designing golf courses?

He couldn't keep it down to 18 holes.

What do you call a dog with a stain on his fur?

Spot. What do you call a dog who lays on a golf course Ruff. What do you call a dog who just got run over Rhody.

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

How are 6 women like a golf course?

NSFW 18 holes

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the water turn into steam?

It mistbehaved

When do the leaves begin to turn?

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Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics ?

Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US.

Why did the pig quit running the the marathon?

He had a problem with his hamstring.

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What is red... And smells like green paint?

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Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after 3 Ho's

How did Tiger Woods get the name Tiger?

His mom is Thai and his dad is.......

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How loud can you talk?

Alcohol

What is it called when you mix Alcohol and Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird. (X-post )

Juan Jokes More Juan Jokes

How do you get Mexicans out of your house?

Juan by Jaun

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What do you call your mom who used to be your dad?

A transparent ( )

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

Golf Jokes More Golf Jokes

Why couldn't the computer play golf?

Because it had the wrong Driver

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf?

Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved.