Green Jokes

Why did the old man get kicked off the nudist colony's golf course?

He kept leaving ball marks on the greens.

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What do you call a color-blind pop artist?

See No Green

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's hotter, green or red peppers?

Green "Nope. Green."

What is red... And smells like green paint?

Red paint! Whats green, and smells like red paint Green paint :) Can't believe how many time I switch to the second, and they don't get it!

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

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Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What's believing in evolution?

Apetheism

Why is 1 disapproving of 6?

That one doesn't believe in six before marriage.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What smells like pork?

Kermits finger

What's yellow and smells like a zebra?

Lion vomit.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How does someone pay for a painting?

With Monet

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

Kick Jokes More Kick Jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran away from the ball!

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

When someone ask me... How are you?

I answer back... You mean in bed

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?

Sleep in the wardrobe !

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

Why do molluscs only think of themselves?

Because they're shellfish

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Why was the little boy unhappy?

Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.