Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Why does a redneck hold a knife while driving?

So he can cut corners.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?

One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.

What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

A bat!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why should you always carry a knife around?

Because sharp wits won't always give you the edge.

What is Queen's (the band, not the monarch) favourite type of luggage?

carry ooooooooonnnn, carry ooooooonnnnnnnnnn

Green Jokes More Green Jokes

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What is Green and Oblong?

A well disguised orange!

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

Why did the priest smoke weed in the cemetery?

He wanted to keep his spirits high.

What Do You Call It When Someone Has a Bad Experience With Weed?

Blunt trauma.

Good Driver Jokes More Good Driver Jokes

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear