A No. 2 pencil.
Your ex!
The same one that has 2 clowns running for president!
No wheezin'"
Re-morse code
If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump
A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.
One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.
Two!.......pac. (*It's a lot better spoken than written.*)
A Southern Zoo has a description of the animal on the cage along with a recipe.
GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:
A #2 pencil