How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

What do you call a nun lost in the woods?

A Roamin Catholic.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How Do You Break Up With Your Girlfriend?

www.AshleyMadison.com

Why can't the ghost get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because he's got a hollow-weenie.

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

Why don't I have a boyfriend?

God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

What did Jared say when the girl asked him for a footlong?

That he only has a 6 inch.

30 Pound Jokes More 30 Pound Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something