How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

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How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?

Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

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Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend?

Homeless

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When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T&gt1?

Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

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Why did Jared from Subway call Boyz2Men?

He thought they had delivery service.

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

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How do you lose 30 pounds in 1 Minute?

Go to England and buy something

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.