How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

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Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What is 61 to a blonde?

A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

What did I do in my 3-year-old?

I ate sand.

Subway Jokes More Subway Jokes

What's worse than a Jimmy John's full of dead babies?

A Subway full of live ones.

What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old without any friend?

A Sandy Hook Survivor

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

He dumped his girlfriend.

How did Jared lose 150lbs?

He kicked two 7-year-olds out of his bed.

Food Poisoning Jokes More Food Poisoning Jokes

Why did the Russian man get food poisoning?

Because NE-coli.

What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again