What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?

Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "

How old were you on your last birthday?

Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday Ten. Oh I don't think that's possible. Oh yes it is - I'm nine today.

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

How could I forget, mate?

At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind?

That people exaggerate.

What's the first thing Aaron Hernandez learned in prison?

He's not a tight end anymore )

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

Why did the music industry talent scout take a course in game programming?

He thought it would help him with his hit detection.

How do you help a choking pig?

With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do the Scottish people call iPhone?

A: an AYE-Phone. (Joke brought to you by a 5 year old)

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

Kindergarten Jokes More Kindergarten Jokes

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What do white supremacists send their toddlers to before kindergarten?

Pre-KKK

Doughnut Jokes More Doughnut Jokes

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

What's under the Pillsbury Doughboy's apron?

Doughnuts