What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today."

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What is every blonde's ambition?

A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

What did one hand say to the other?

Help, I think I'm in glove".

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do you say when your neighbor's 5 year old goes missing?

Nothing.

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Kindergarten Jokes More Kindergarten Jokes

Where were you between four and six?

I said, "Kindergarten."

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

Doughnut Jokes More Doughnut Jokes

What did the cop say to the doughnut as he ate it?

Rest in **police**.

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.